Someday Home
by Vintage Tea Party
Summary: The day has come where Jo must move out of the home she shared with Sean. Fortunately, she doesn't have to do it alone.


**A/N: This story came about from the question "Where Jo was living in episode 21?" When Henry goes to see her it seems like a different place than the one she was living in during episode 13. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not but it got me wondering what it might be like for Jo if she had to move from the house her and Sean had lived in to a new one.**

 **I place this story as taking place somewhere around episode 19**

Henry quickly jogged up the steps to Jo's house already hearing the murmur of voices coming from the open door. The moving truck was already parked at the curb and from the amount of noise he could hear from within the house it seemed the work was well underway.

He certainly hadn't meant to be running late on a day like this, and he quickened his steps at the realization that he was. Jo was moving today from her home in Washington Heights to another, smaller house in a more affordable neighborhood. It was a significant day for her, he knew, in many ways. Even he felt the significance of it second hand. But it wasn't necessarily a choice she had made out of desire as much as one of financial necessity. That made it all the more difficult and he wondered how she taking it.

When he got inside he found Jo standing in the hall near the entrance, wearing jeans and a t-shirt with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. He smiled at her casual appearance, one he had not seen her in yet; he always found himself a bit delighted at seeing different parts of her, like he was able to see a new piece of her personality. She was focused on arranging items in a box she was crouched next to and he walked towards her unnoticed for a couple of steps before she saw hi approaching.

"Henry," she said smiling and standing when she saw him walking towards her. Her face genuinely lit up at the sight of him and it made him feel so good inside that he knew whatever backbreaking work she might ask him to do today would be worth it just to have seen her look at him that way. "I'm glad you could make it."

He let his face break out in the grin he felt. "Of course. I wouldn't miss a Saturday of hard labor," he joked lighthearted.

"Yeah…right. Sorry about that," she said the smiling fading a little from her face.

"No, I mean that sincerely," he said quickly. He knew it had been hard for her to reach out and ask for the help. In fact he'd had to gently push her into seeking the help she needed from their friends when she'd said she was moving. Jo wasn't a weak person and she was very self-sufficient which often equated to not asking for help, even when helped was needed. She'd relented, of course, out of necessity but that didn't mean that she was any more comfortable with it.

"Oh come on," she teased back. "You're just being nice. No one _likes_ to move."

"I know it may sound strange but it's a joy to have friends again who need my help. It's…been awhile," he admitted.

She smiled warmly, her expression one of understanding. "Oh, well alright."

"Abe is parking the car; he'll be in in just a minute. I'm just sorry that I appear to be late," he said taking in the sight of the already busy house around him.

From where he stood he could see Hanson and his wife Karen working in the living room and he could hear their two boys screaming somewhere in the distance. Lieutenant Reece and a tall very strong looking man he assumed to be her husband were also working in the living room, and he thought he heard Lucas bustling around and jabbering to someone (or more likely nobody) in the kitchen.

"No, you're not late," she said with a wave of her hand. "Everyone just got here not too long ago."

He looked around quickly again. "Where's Isaac?"

Henry noticed the brief hint of disappointment that skirted across her face before she covered it with a smile. "Ah, he's not here. A problem came up at one of his hotels that he had to take care of. But it's fine; I think we have enough muscle power to get the job done."

It was now Henry's turn to put on a smile that was stronger than what he felt. "Of course we do," he agreed. He could tell it wasn't completely fine with her that Isaac wasn't there. Henry couldn't help but feel frustrated with the man. Today wasn't just about helping physically with the labor of helping Jo move all of her stuff from her old house to her new one; it was just as much about supporting her as she moved away from the home she had at one time shared with Sean. Henry knew that things came up; he certainly knew sometimes work couldn't be avoided. He didn't know the story but he still couldn't help feeling that Isaac should have been there.

He was relieved when Abe walked up to them at that moment breaking the slight tension of Isaac's absence. "Hey kid, how are you doing?" he asked as he gave Jo a quick hug and peck on the cheek.

She took a deep breath before answering. "I'm alright," she answered honestly, with a tired looking smile. "A little overwhelmed. It's a lot to be going on," she gestured around to the noisy and busy atmosphere.

"Sorry we're late. We would have been here sooner if Henry had hadn't been agonizing over his clothes," Abe said giving Henry a loaded look.

"Oh, I see," Jo said, taking in Henry's unusual dress of tennis shoes, jeans and t-shirt, a look on him she'd had yet to see.

Henry tugged a little self-consciously at his clothes. "There's no need to make a big deal of it. I don't know why you keep going on about it," Henry said to Abe in a tone of voice that made it clear to Jo this conversation between them was a continuation of one that had been started earlier.

"I just don't understand why it takes a grown man 30 minutes to put on jeans and a t-shirt."

"You know I had trouble finding them. It isn't like I wear them every day."

"No, I think you had trouble finding them among all that fru fru in your over flowing closet. You have 100 vests and an incalculable number of scarves it's no wonder your sole lonely pair of jeans got lost in there."

"You are exaggerating," Henry said with a bit of ire.

"I tell you, it's like living with a woman sometimes," Abe said in exasperation, turning his attention back to Jo.

Henry rolled his eyes at the comment. But it made Jo laugh so he found he didn't mind so much the joke was made at his expense. "Well," she said with a smile. "I'm glad you're both here after such a _trying_ morning."

"Ah, I almost forgot. This is for you," Abe said, remembering the gift box he was holding in his hands.

Jo reached out to take it, a clear look of surprise on her face. "It's a housewarming gift," Henry added from a smile.

"You guys didn't have to do this," she said a touch of emotion in her voice, surprised by the sentiment.

"Of course we didn't have to," Abe said. "But we wanted to."

Jo lifted the lid of the box and found what could have been expected from the pair: an obvious antique. She lifted out a very old looking horseshoe.

"It's an old superstition of good luck that if you hang a horse shoe over your door, pointing up it will bring you good luck," Abe said pointing to the horseshoe in Jo's hands. "That particular horseshoe traveled all the way from New York to California with a family of pioneers back sometime in the 1880's. And, coincidentally, somehow made its way back to New York all these years later," he said with a smile.

"We thought it might bring you some good luck in your new house," Henry added.

Jo stared down at the horse shoe, smiling. She stayed that way for several moments obviously touched by the gift and the kindness of the two men behind it. But it was also apparent she was trying not to let herself get overwhelmed by the emotions of it. Finally, she took a breath and looked up at them smiling. "That's very kind of you. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Jo" Henry said.

"Well," Abe said clapping his hands together and attempting to lighten the heavy moment. "I'm here but I'm not sure how much help I can be in the way of physical labor. If nothing else I can brighten up the atmosphere."

"That you are already doing," she said with a smile and fond look towards Abe.

She then turned her attention back towards Henry. "I do, however have some heaving lifting in mind for you," she said pointing at him.

"I live to serve," he said with an exaggerated bow.

Abe groaned at the silly motion but it made Jo laugh. "Alright then, follow me," she said with a wave and he followed as she led him down the hall.

"Even though it caused so much trouble, I am glad to see you dressed for the occasion. I didn't even know you owned a pair of jeans and a t-shirt," she said appraising his look again as they walked.

He looked down and tried not to fidget nervously. He felt out of place in them but he had known his signature look would not work for a day of moving boxes and furniture. "Well, I try not to keep them in a great supply. I don't make a habit of wearing them."

"Well, maybe you should," she said and he stopped and gave her a curious look. "It suits you."

She smiled at him playfully and kept walking. But he stood there in shock for moment smiling as he shook off the surprise and followed her.

* * *

Henry had been glad to find Jo in a rather positive mood when he had arrived at her house earlier that morning. He hadn't known quite what to expect when got there. He knew that the day would be difficult for her but he wasn't sure how she would handle it. It wasn't as if he had expected her to show obvious outward signs of pain. Jo was strong and she could handle a lot. Things that might cripple other people to despair wouldn't break her. Even still he'd been relieved to find her in good spirits, even going as far as to tease him about his casual appearance and to laugh at Abe's jokes Though Henry had no illusions that the lightness she was displaying on the outside went to the core of her he could also tell that she wasn't faking it entirely. Even if it was mingled with some sadness, the happiness she displayed wasn't completely an act.

As the day wore on, however, and house got emptier and emptier he had watched as she had gotten more and more quiet and withdrawn. As they worked, Henry kept his eye on Jo and he could see her clear descent into melancholy. It was much more subdued than it would be in others but having kept such a close acquaintance with her over the past several months through many ups and downs and everything in between, he could clearly see it. Jo wasn't the kind to wallow or show much pain but he knew she was having a hard time. She didn't want anyone feeling sorry for her and she didn't want to talk about Sean. Everyone must know it was difficult for her but no one said anything about it. Henry was relieved they were respecting her wishes on that matter.

But, finally, when they were nearly done packing everything up and taking it out to the truck, he realized that Jo had disappeared. He searched everywhere for her on the first floor but finding no trace of her, he headed upstairs to look for her there. He had searched almost the entire, now completely empty, second floor before he finally found her. When he finally did see her, he felt his heart break a little.

He found her in one of the bedrooms, probably her own as it appeared to be the largest one in the house. She was sitting cross legged on the floor in the middle of the now completely empty room, facing a large window on the opposite wall, her back to the door. He couldn't see her face and she couldn't see him and it appeared as if his presence went unnoticed by her. He was glad for that because he now felt like he was invading her privacy. He'd been worried by her sudden disappearance but now that he knew where she was and what she was doing he knew why she had wanted to be alone.

He could imagine what she might be thinking right now. Surely, years of memories were running through her head. He knew she would be remembering all those times she'd spent here in this house with her husband. All of it, this particular room especially, felt so intimate he knew he shouldn't be here. She'd obviously come here to do this alone, to make peace with leaving this place, to say a goodbye. He knew he shouldn't interrupt it and felt he shouldn't even be privy to it.

He meant to leave at once. He hadn't meant to linger in the doorway but he found it hard to make himself leave too. He admired her so much and he couldn't resist staring at her with the unconcealed emotion he felt for her displayed on his face while she wasn't watching. What she was doing today was so hard; he couldn't say he had the strength for it. Leaving the house she'd shared with her husband couldn't be easy and he knew she was incredibly strong to handle it in the way she did. He hadn't done the same in her same position. He hadn't moved out of that last house he'd shared with Abigail. Like a coward he'd left his son to handle that task while he'd been MIA.

He didn't know how she coped with all of it so well. She was so young, too young, to be going through all of this. He felt it should be against the laws of nature for a widow to be as young as she was. How had she managed to handle this tragedy as well as she had? He'd nearly fallen to pieces when he'd lost Abigail. It had destroyed him so much that he was sure that if he'd had the option to end his own suffering he'd have taken it. He'd been so much older than Jo during his trial and still he had not handled it nearly as well as she did. He thought to himself, that he really should find a way to tell her how much he respected her for all of her strength.

"Well, are you coming in or what?" she asked from where she sat but she did not turn to look at him. He jumped slightly at the break in the silence. His cheeks blushed as he realized he'd remained too long and now he'd been caught. He could tell she wasn't angry with him though; her tone was neutral but he could hear the very subtle hint of playful annoyance under it.

"If you don't mind," he said taking the invitation and walking slowly into the room.

She patted the spot next to her as an answer and he sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, truly feeling bad for interrupting on this private moment. "I didn't mean to intrude. I just wanted to see if you were alright." He was glad now for an excuse to ask her. Nothing else during the day had provided an appropriate moment but now that it was just the two of them he felt it was alright for him to ask.

She took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm not," she admitted, still looking out the window in front of her. "But I will be," she said. She sounded sure of it like she knew it in her head but he could tell that she didn't feel it right now in her heart. He knew that particular phenomenon well.

"Yes. You will," he reassured her.

"I really didn't mean to intrude," he added after a pause, still feeling as if he shouldn't be here. "I just became concerned when I realized you'd gone missing,"

"I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes."

"Right. Of course," he agreed and started to get up but Jo reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back down next to her.

"Doesn't apply to you," she said looking at him for the first time since he'd joined her and giving him a slight smile. He gave her a small one in return as he sat back down next to her. He couldn't help but be happy for this special close place he seemed to have gained in her life.

She rested her head on his shoulder and he smiled and tilted his to touch hers. Ever since that first night he'd come to her home things had been different between them. That case had brought up so many feelings and memories of Sean for Jo and she had been brave enough to face them. In turn, he'd taken a risk and offered her his company that night. She'd cried and he'd held her and their relationship had made a definite shift for the better. Physical touch still wasn't something that was as natural or common between them as he hoped someday it would be, but since that night it was now a possibly.

They sat side by side in silence for several minutes but it was good. It was comfortable just as things between them had become. It wasn't often that Henry had a relationship that was comfortable. He didn't have the luxury of them given his life and all the secrets he held. But being with Jo had always felt natural. It had never taken effort and had flowed easily from the start.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he finally asked her, as an offer only and not an obligation of any sort. She had been busy all day and he was sure she had wanted it that way. If she were busy she would have less time to think and consider what this day meant for her. But things wouldn't stay that way. Things were slowing down and soon she would have to too. Shortly, she would be walking out of the doors of her home and never coming back. He could tell that the gravity of that was starting to catch up with her and he wanted to be there for her if she wanted to talk about it.

She sat upright again and took a deep breath. "I knew this day was coming. It's not like it's a surprise or anything," she said with a shrug. "I can't afford this house, not without Sean. I never have been able to. I always knew I would have to move I just couldn't at first, of course. But it's been a while and now I have to face it."

"Doesn't mean it isn't still hard."

It took her a while to answer and Henry was silent. He hadn't been kidding when he'd told her that silence was not one of his gifts. He liked to talk; he always had and probably always would. But he did know when to be quiet too.

"It is. But it's fine. Really it is," she said with some strength but he could see her struggling within herself to remain strong. "I don't even really want to live here anymore. Not really. Not, you know, without...him here. You know what I mean?" she asked turning to look at him.

Her eyes glistened and he knew she was going to lose the battle she was fighting with herself. He also knew she needed to. "Yes, I do know what you mean," he said gently and with understanding.

She nodded her head briefly, seeming to take comfort in the understanding she found in him. She knew that he really did know, from personal experience, what she was going through. But then she glanced away and swallowed. He could tell that she was nearing tears.

"It's just hard," she admitted. "You think you have your future all planned out and then something happens, one single event, one stupid phone call and everything changes. I just didn't think I was going to have to start over like this."

"Jo, I know it's hard and I know that you already know this, but what you had here, the memories, you take that with you no matter where you go. No one can ever take that away from you."

"I know," then she paused. "I know I get to keep the past but I never got to have the future. I just…I just was supposed to live in this house forever."

Her voice cracked on the last word. He reached out and took her hand in his. "It's alright for this to be hard. It's alright for it to hurt."

She nodded her head looking down at their joined hands. It seemed like so little consolation to offer her. It didn't seem to change anything or make things better but he was glad that she seemed to take comfort from his presence if nothing else.

After a moment she smiled recalling something. "I didn't even like this house when we moved in. It was a compromise. I liked another, smaller one better, and Sean liker another, bigger one better. Our tastes where quite different at times but we had to meet somewhere in the middle. This is what we decided on. Still took me a while to warm up to the place."

"Abigail felt the same way about the first place we live. But for the entirely opposite reason," he said with a smile.

"Oh yeah?" she asked and he was glad to see that she was smiling too.

"Yeah. You should have seen her face. We'd just been married and I dragged her across an ocean to a brand new country and took her to live in this broke down apartment that smelled like garbage. I could tell she was quickly wondering if she'd made a terrible mistake and married a crazy man," he said laughing slightly.

She laughed a little too but soon looked sad again. She leaned forward, resting her chin on her knee. Her hair fell down around the side of her face obstructing his view of her. He decided to take the rare opportunity to reach out to her once more. He reached out a hand and gently tucked her hair behind her ear and pushed it off her shoulder.

As he did his hand caught on a chain she had around her neck. She was wearing a t-shirt so the collar was much higher than the ones she normally wore and he did not realize she'd been wearing a necklace. He now assumed it had gotten caught under her shirt so it pulled it the rest of the way free in an effort to fix it for her. He did not realize that she had reached a hand up in vain to stop him before he had already tugged it free, revealing her wedding ring on the end of it.

Her hand fell back down and she glanced away, not looking him in the eyes. But it wasn't before he saw the tears in her eyes or the blush on her cheeks. It was obvious she hadn't wanted him to see it and he felt so stupid for not thinking about it. She hadn't been wearing it recently so he just hadn't expected to find it again. But he knew better than anyone the ways of grief. This was obviously one that she'd wanted to keep to herself and he felt terrible for bringing it into the light. He should have known. Just because she hadn't been wearing it lately didn't mean she wouldn't ever feel like wearing it again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and he let go of it so it could fall gently back against her chest. He let his fingers brush against her chin as he pulled his hand away. She let out a shuttering breath and drew in another deeper one. She was really hurting today. This day was much harder on her than she let on, even to him. He could see now how much she was aching and he longed to reach out to her more. But he could tell she was sorely fighting off the tears and his small gesture nearly sent her over the edge. He knew she didn't want to lose it completely so he wouldn't push it, even though he wanted to comfort her more.

It took her a long time to answer but he knew it was only because she was trying to compose herself. He glanced away but he could still see her out of the corner of his eyes. Her chin quivered slightly and she reached up and held the ring in her hand for a few minutes.

Finally, she tucked it back under her shirt so it was hidden and spoke. "I just…I needed it, again. Just for today," she said turning towards him, speaking as if she needed to explain herself. He could tell the words were difficult and her eyes still shined a little. It was something she felt she needed to apologize for. He reached out to take her hand inside of his again.

"Jo, you don't have to explain any of it to me."

"I wish someone would explain it to me," she said honestly, growing more upset. "I've been doing so much better and then something like this happens…and it's just _hard."_

Her voice wavered on the last word and he wished again that he could just scoop her up in his arms but he settled for holding her hand. He knew the pain she spoke of and he wished for nothing more than that she should be relived of it.

"Grief it isn't an accomplishment, Jo; it's a process. It isn't something you do and then you're done with it. It's something you continually work at. And it doesn't always happen in a forward motion. Sometimes you move on, you do better. And sometimes you take a step back. But that's OK."

"It doesn't feel OK," she admitted.

"Well it is. You're moving out of the house that you and your husband shared together and that's hard."

She nodded taking a few moments before she spoke again. "I just wonder if it's ever going to stop?"

It was a question she was asking of him but he knew she would not like the answer. "Do you want the honest answer?"

She looked at him once again and though there were tears in her eyes she smiled. "I already have the answer. You told me as much that first time we had drinks in that bar."

He smiled at the memory. "I suppose I could have handled that with a bit more tact but what I said then is true. It _will_ always be a part of you. But your life will change and it will get easier to carry. I promise. I should have said that sooner because it is true just as much."

She sighed. "I know you're right. And most of the time I feel it too. It's just harder to feel today."

"You are making progress even on the days when you feel like you've gone back a little."

"Thank you, Henry, for this," she said sincerely, turning to him. "You seem to know so much about this. The others…you know they try. But they don't really understand. It's just good to talk to someone who really understands."

The moment still felt right so he chanced another gesture towards her. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled slightly and she leaned over to put her head on his shoulder again.

They sat in silence for several more minutes until Henry turned towards her. He knew she needed to say her final goodbye and he knew she would need to do that alone.

"I think I'm going to leave you now. Take all the time you need and whenever you are ready we'll be down stairs."

He was leaving her alone to say her last goodbyes and he would likely keep the others distracted so they wouldn't interrupt her either. The look on her face said she understood and that she was beyond grateful. "Thank you."

He gave her shoulders a squeeze and got up, reluctantly leaving her to complete this last task on her own.

* * *

A few hours later Jo was moved into her new house. Well, all the boxes had been moved in anyway. It was late and everyone was tired from all of the work but they were all in good spirits. Nothing had been unpacked yet but Jo had stopped to hang the horse shoe over the door first thing, smiling to herself as she did so. They had also gotten out her old card table and they all sat around it now, using boxes as seats and eating pizza off of paper plates. The collection of candles and lanterns they'd quickly dug out to light the place cast a warm glow on the friendly meeting.

She had been frustrated to find upon arrival that the electricity hadn't been turned on in her new place. She had just been about to give someone at the electric company an earful after they had told her it would be the next day before they could turn it on when Henry had stepped in and assured her that it would be fine just. He had even insisted that it would be fun to eat by candlelight. Being the unconventional man that he was she shouldn't have been surprised that he saw this as an enjoyable opportunity. And she had to admit that he hadn't been terribly wrong in the end; it actually was proving to be kind of fun.

Jo found that she felt exceptionally hopeful as she sat at the table and looked at her friends around her. This sure wasn't how she thought was going to feel by the day's end. Though she had admitted it to no one when she woke that morning she didn't know how she was going to make it through the day. She was in tears before she had even got out of bed. Moving felt like severing one the strongest and last threads she had left that tied her to Sean and she had sobbed as she'd thought ahead of doing it. She really hadn't known if she'd have the strength to do it.

She was glad that everyone had seemed to understand and respect her need to not talk about it. Somehow, she had found the strength to get up and face the day but she was pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to hold onto it if everyone had looked at her with sympathy and asked how she was doing all day long. Fortunately, her friends weren't that kind. Except for Henry but she didn't mind with him. He knew what she was going through and, though she wasn't sure how he knew so much about grief, his understanding of the subject helped. He really did always know just what to say and she gained a lot of strength from this terrible but big thing they had in common.

She thought about her life as it was now, in this new house. This wasn't where she meant to end up. This reality had never been a part of her plan. She had never thought she was going to have to start over again especially after such a short time with Sean. She had thought she would was going to spend the rest of her life with Sean in that old house. She never thought she would be a widow before she even turned forty. Sean had always worried about her, her job putting her in the line of fire, thinking she was the one in danger. She'd never had those same concerns about him. And neither one had ever thought something as commonplace as a heart attack would be what separated them. Unfortunately, it was her experience that life often had a way of going the complete opposite way you expected it would.

She still wished she was living in that old house with Sean. It had been a home; this place was just a house now. She still wanted her old life back and would take it in a heartbeat if she could. But looking around the table now she realized, though this was not her ideal situation, she could do a lot worse. When Sean had died, she had been so alone but she wasn't alone anymore. She hadn't had much support at all directly after his death. She shuttered to think of those days when she'd been so consumed by grief and she'd had only strangers to seek out for comfort. At least this new house didn't hold all of those awfully lonely days and nights she'd spent in that aftermath. Instead, her first night in her new house, was spent surrounded by her friends, so many she'd gained in a relatively short time. She may have lost everything but she'd gained a lot too.

As she sat there watching everyone around her and thinking Henry caught her eye. He was smiling as he listened to something Abe was saying to him but for when he noticed her staring his smile grew a little wider for her. She couldn't help but smile back and send a silent thank you to him for all he'd done for her today. He seemed to understand. How unexpected her friendship with him had been. She sure didn't think he'd become so dear to her that first time she'd met him. It was good to know that not everything unexpected was for the worse.

Right after Sean died she thought the best days of her life were behind her forever. She really hadn't been able to see how she could ever be happy again, let alone maybe even someday be happier than she had been with Sean. The jury was still out on whether the best days of her life were ahead of her or still behind her but she knew that she was at least happy again. She knew with certainty, maybe for the first time, that things really were good for her now. And who knew what the future and this new house might hold. It wasn't a home yet but maybe, someday, it would be.


End file.
